Friends Don't Let Friends Smoke

Friend #1:

Hey, remember that time I ran bare-assed

across that football pitch?

Friend #2:
Do I? I was in the goddam pick up waiting.

Friend #1:
Oh, man that was awesome!

Friend #2:
We really should have had a pair of boxers

waiting for you at least.

Friend #1:
The look on that squirrel's face!

Friend #2:
Your wang was in my peripheral vision - I

nearly took out that old guy at the lights.

Friend #1:

Good times…

Friend #2:
I still get nightmares about that… Wang Nightmares…

Friend #1:

And what about when you helped me move

into my apartment?

Friend #2:
Sorry?

Friend #1:
You know, the staircase and the stripy sofa?

Friend #2:
When was this?

Friend #1:
You fell asleep on it WHILE I WAS STILL

CARRYING ONE END! Hilarious!

Friend #2:
Dude, was I even there?

Friend #1:
Oh and that time you spilled drinks over the

guy from Badly Drawn Boy.

Friend #2:

I thought he was Benny from Crossroads,

but yeah - that was funny!

Friend #1:
Funny…

Friend #2:
Yeah...

Friend #1:

And remember that time I threw away your cigarette!

Friend #2:
Dwayne!

Friend #1:
Just took it out of your mouth and threw it away!

Friend #2:
Stop being such a dick!

Friend #1:
Friends don't let friends smoke, Randy.

Friend #2:
Real friends do.

Friend #1:
N-ah!

Friend #2:

U-hu!

Friend #1:

N-ah!

Friend #2:
Is this to do with when we were

camping that time?

Friend #1:
I… When?…

Friend #2:
You touched my - 

Friend #1:
I thought you'd passed out!

Friend #2:

I was petrified…

Friend #1:
I… I was confused…

Friend #2:
Dude… it's forgotten…

Friend #1:
Seriously?

Friend #2:
Seriously. 

There is a moment of silence.

Friend #2:
Sarah never needs to hear that story - I

will take that secret to my grave…

Friend #1 smiles - he has an idea. He pulls out a packet of cigarettes and offers one to Friend #2. 

Friend #1:
Fancy a smoke, Friend?

Friend #2:
Thanks, Friend.

Friend #1:
Go on, take a nice deep lung full…